The Coping Mechanism and Being Totally Awesome after a Break-up

I don’t usually go into depths with my personal life, but sometimes something you’re going through that’s supposed to be bad is actually one of the greatest things that could have happened. I’m a ‘stuff happens’ kind of person, some may say I’m cold and made of stone, but really I’ve just overcome so much that I’m a tough cookie to crack now and I know there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. In everything in life, I like to see the good – be it a terrible situation or something that needs a bit of beauty injected into it – I guess you could call it the ‘glass-half-full’ take.

Anyway, you guessed it – single, back on the scene, me myself and I – but you don’t need to pity me one bit, because there are a ton of reasons why this is the greatest thing for me, and even anybody like me at all that’s still glazed with a lifetimes worth of dreams. So, here’s why being single in your 20’s might just be the best thing ever

1) Free dreaming.

I was in a relationship for a very significant amount of time and it was for such a long period in my life that I didn’t know any different. I was never a solo person or just ‘Laura’, it was always ‘Laura and -‘ – so as you can imagine, my entire life’s plans were based around this and taking other people into consideration, meaning I ‘settled’ for things that were convenient for two people, rather than the outrageous things that I wanted to do with my future – like move abroad and climb the ranks of the Fashion world.

2) Focus – ‘getting stuff done’.

We all hate to even think it, never mind say it, but from my experience, you don’t work as hard as you can when you have a ‘other half’ to think about. In my line of work, there are no days off, no nights off, and no social life – so a relationship has always been a case of balance and prioritizing and most of the time it meant taking a step back from my work and settling for less-than-best. Who gets to the top with less-than-best? Nobody.

3) Adventure.

Unless you’re super lucky and you’ve found your soulmate, chances are you have a fair few personality difference. I’m a dreamer, a go-getter, the spontaneous kind – not the kind that likes to stay in one place for long. Since becoming single I’ve planned trips to Thailand, Bali and South America – all on my own, because why the hell not? Pack the Oliver Peoples sunglasses and let’s go!

4) The Carrie Bradshaw experience.

Growing up, as much as I felt sorry for Carrie being in her 30s and still hooking up and chasing that loser Big, I still craved her city life. The dating, the clothes, the social circle, being totally and utterly fabulous – it’s all just too much fun to pass up!

4) ‘Find yourself’.

Because I’m only 21 and I’ve never really been alone, I’m finally realizing who I am, and I like that person.

5) No more shared finances.

… Or at least having to explain why there’s a large sum of money missing because ‘we could have had a nice weekend with that’…. FREEWILL TO BUY SHOES.

6) Actually, having friends.

We all do it. We all abandon our friends once ‘Prince Charming’ comes along and we put on 3 pounds and stop shaving our legs. Don’t deny it, you know you’ve been there. Here’s to now actually having a social life (and a few more hangovers….)

7) Learning how to make yourself happy.

Sometimes we’re so used to depending on others and being with others, or being depended on by others, we forget the little things that make us happy or we don’t get to learn what they are. Lately, I’ve started reading great novels again, going to the gym, going for really long walks and being crazy inspired with my design work and pushing ‘The Fashion Wonderland’. It’s the little things!

8) Surround yourself with like-minded people who inspire you.

This is definitely something I’ve been doing lately. I’ve been meeting new people who have made their own little impacts on my life and sparked my spontaneity just that little bit more and it’s all been part of a perfect recipe in figuring out who I am and becoming happy in myself.